Choices
by maisie75
Summary: Grissom and Sara are married and expecting their first child but can their love survive when faced with bad news...
1. Chapter 1

**THIS IS MY FIRST STORY SO BE HONEST AND KIND.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CSI, or anything associated with it.

**-CHOICES-**

**Chapter 1**

It was midday and Grissom had just finished another double shift. As he walked into their home he expected to find Sara up and was surprised when she was still sleeping. Sara was 4 months pregnant but had lately had become extremely exhausted lately. While Grissom put it down to normal pregnancy he still worried.

He started making lunch when Sara finally woke up and came into the kitchen.

"Hi did you sleep well" asked Grissom.

"Yes, sorry I did not mean to sleep that long. How was shift?" said Sara

"Not too bad busy. Greg tried to pick-up a witness and I think you may be right about Catherine and Warrick". If you still feel tired you can have the night off. Just because I am your husband does not mean I cannot put in a word with your supervisor. After all Catherine will understand".

"Thanks Honey but I will be fine". said Sara.

Even though she said the words Sara was becoming rather worried roo. She had become extremely exhausted and just could not put her finger on it. She had not only become tired but also had been feeling very dizzy. She tried to put it out of her mind and thought if it persisted she would mention it to her doctor when she had a check up next week.

Sara and Grissom were so excited to be expecting their first child as it had taken them 6 months to become pregnant and both of them were worried that it may never happen.

_A few hours later_

Shift was about to start and Sara was in the break room with Greg who was telling her about the witness named Louise that he had been tying to call. "Greg I cannot believe that you actually tried to call her". "Why not she is hot and I think Greggo could teach her a few things" said Greg. At that moment the rest of the team walked through.

"Ok Cath and Greg you have a 419. Warrick and I have a floating body in the lake and Nick and Sara you guys can look after the B&E" said Grissom.

As Nick and Sara got into their Denali Nick noticed that Sara seemed very quiet and looked rather off. "Hey Sara are you feeling ok" questioned Nick. "Yeh Nick I am fine just a bit of morning sickness I think". Nick did not think anything else as he had sisters and both had children so he knew the signs.

Nick and Sara worked their B&E and were ready to leave. As Sara bent down to pick up her kit she felt very dizzy. Lucky Nick saw the whole thing and was able to steady her. As they walked back to the car he gave her some water. "Sara I am really worried are you sure you are ok" said Nick. "Sorry Nick just got up to quickly. When we get back to the lab I might lie down" said Sara.

2 hours later Grissom and Warrick had finally come back as they needed to examine some prints that they had found at their scene. Nick met them in the hall. "Hey Griss, do you have a moment" said Nick. "Sure, Warrick here is the evidence" said Grissom.

"Look Griss it may be nothing but as Sara and I were leaving the B&E she became very dizzy and looked like she may faint. I caught her in time so all is ok. She is lying down in your office and has been for the last hour. She said it is normal pregnancy stuff but I wanted to let you know" said Nick

"Thanks Nick".

Grissom headed down to his office where Sara was sleeping. He grabbed a blanket and then went and phoned her doctor. He was becoming worried and just needed to find out if it really was normal pregnancy stuff or not. The doctor had an appointment at 3pm that afternoon so he would call shift a day and take Sara home as the guys seem to have everything under control.

Grissom had woken Sara up and was taking them home. As they drove home Sara fell back asleep. He had yet to tell her he had made a doctors appointment for later that day. He figured he still had a few hours and would tell her when she was more awake. As her drove home he thoughts wondered back to whether everything was ok as she was looking very pale and had seemed to lost some weight.

**Authors Note: Ok should I keep going or not??**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was 3pm and Sara and Grissom had arrived for her doctors appointment. He was rather shocked when she did not bother arguing about going to the doctors which told him that she really was not feeling well. As they sat there waiting for their turn he could feel her shaking a little.

"Honey it is going to be fine, we will fine". Sara just looked at him and smiled. The all of a sudden she grabbed her stomach. "What is it" asked Grissom. "I think I may have felt the baby move for the first time" and with that a single tear fell down her check.

"Sara Grissom" announced the nurse. Sara and Grissom both stood up and were taken into the doctors office. Within seconds Dr Ryan appeared. "Gil, Sara how are we both".

"As you know Sara was not expected to come until next week but I have made her come as I am very worried about her. She is tired all the time, has lost weight and been extremely dizzy and I did not think it was normal pregnancy symptoms" said Gil.

"Thanks Gil why don't we let Sara speak" said Dr Ryan. "Is there anything else you want to add Sara"

"Not really except I have been waking up in sweats and also noticed a bit of a pain in lower back which I just thought were all part of the pregnancy. Also I did notice last week a slight lump in the back of my neck but I thought it was probably nothing may be just an enlarged gland"?

"You could be right but lets get you checked out first. If you could hop on to the bed so I can take your blood pressure".

As Sara got on to the bed and laid down you could just make out the smallest little bump in her stomach.

"Ok Sara your blood pressure is down a little. If you could sit up for me now and I will have a look at that lump." The doctor felt around and did not like the feel of it but instead of worrying them now decided to order some tests.

"Ok I would like for you to have a blood test and then we can go from there" said the doctor.

"Should we be worried" asked Sara. "Look it is probably fine but I just want to check you out as you could also be anaemic as that is very common in pregnancies. Ok."

"Also Sara I want you to take a few days off on medical leave and then when we have the results in you can go back to work, deal".

Although Sara was not completely happy about this she thought that the rest would do her good.

"Ok" agreed Sara

After waiting around for the blood to be taken Grissom drove them home as the results would take a few days and they would call them once they were in.

Once home Grissom cooked dinner for him and Sara and then they headed to bed. She was worried about the blood test but thought no point worrying yet and fell into a deep sleep in the arms of her husband. She had never been this happy before and hoped nothing would change that.

**A/N: Please review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Nick, Greg and Warrick were sitting in the break room waiting for their assignments to be given. **

"**Hey have you guys seen Sara" asked Nick. Both Greg ad Warrick shook their heads. Catherine then entered the room with a coffee in their hand. **

"**Ok we have a busy night tonight. Sara is off sick for a few days so I will need you all to pull a few extra shifts". said Grissom**

"**Is she ok" asked Nick.**

"**She will be fine just a bit of a virus and the doctor has ordered for her to rest". said Grissom.**

"**Let us know if she needs anything" said Catherine.**

**Shift seemed to go by rather fast as they were extremely busy. Once Grissom got home he found Sara resting on the couch.**

"**Hi how was shift?" asked Sara. Grissom planted a kiss on her forehead and then told her all about his day. "How was your day" asked Grissom" **

"**Yeh fine, I took Hank for a walk, then had a sleep and then cooked dinner, it is in the oven when you are ready".**

"**Smells nice but you are meant to be taking it easy, I know but I hate doing nothing".**

**Grissom and Sara had dinner and then fell asleep but were woken early in the morning but the phone ringing.**

"**Gil Grissom". Hello, this is Dr Ryan's office calling. We have test results in for Sara Grissom and was wondering if you would be able to come in. Dr Ryan is free at midday if that suits you" said the nurse. "That is fine, we will both be there".**

**Grissom headed back to the bedroom where Sara was still sleeping. "Hey who was that" said a sleepy Sara. "It was the doctors office, they have your results and would like us to come in to discuss them". Sara did not say anything she fell back asleep but she had to admit she was very worried. She was also worried that something may be wrong with the baby which frightened her as it had taken them so long to get pregnant.**

**At midday Sara and Grissom waited in the doctors office for her to appear.**

"**Ok Sara I have your results. Your blood results have come back with a low white cell count. What that means is you possibly have an infection, could be something to do with the lump in your neck so I am going to schedule a biopsy for you ".**

**At that moment Sara starting to panic.**

"**Are you saying it could be cancer" asked Sara. "Look we won't know anything until after the test so lets just take it one step at a time."**

"**Dr Ryan I am just over 4 months pregnant what does this mean for the baby". asked Sara. Grissom reached over and held her hand which was resting on her stomach.**

"**Look Sara at the moment the baby is fine so lets get the test done and then we can go from there. Ok? I have scheduled the biopsy for 3pm. I know this may seem quick but I don't want either of you to have to wait. The hospital does it as an outpatient so Sara won't have to be admitted and we should have the results within 24 hours"**

**Both Sara and Grissom left and went home for a few hours before her biopsy was scheduled. Grissom rang the lab to tell them he would not be in . Catherine asked if everything was ok but Grissom did not want to say anything yet.**

**Grissom returned to the living area to see if Sara was ready to leave but found her in tears.**

"**Grissom what if this is cancer what does it mean for our baby" sobbed Sara. Grissom took her in his arms and held her. He prayed that all would be ok. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Sara and Grissom arrived at the hospital for Sara's biopsy. Sara was given a gown to get changed into and then they both waited in a small room where the procedure would be done. The room was in the some area where the x-rays and scans were done. They were greeted by a doctor by the name of Dr Lloyd. He explained to Sara that a small needle would be inserted into the back of her neck where the lump was but due to the position of it they were unable to give her an anaesthesia. A nurse and a radiographer also walked in. The nurse's name was Jenny and told them that the radiographer Garry would need to do a scan to get the exact position while Dr Lloyd got his sample.

The procedure began and Sara was nervous. Grissom sat at the end of the bed just enough room to be able to grab her hand. Garry had the perfect position and Dr Lloyd inserted the needle. Grissom felt his stomach turn and wished it was him there instead of Sara. All her life she seemed to be fighting battles. He just hoped this was nothing and the reason she was feeling unwell was due to a virus. The procedure lasted 15 minutes and then they were able to leave. Dr Ryan would have the results in 24 hours.

Once they got home Sara was tired and decided to have a quick nap. Grissom called the lab but it had been a quiet night and Catherine seemed to have everything under control. Grissom headed to the study but was woken but Sara's screams.

"Honey wake up you are dreaming" said Grissom. He finally managed to calm Sara down and grabbed a facecloth as she was covered in sweat. He then handed her a glass of water "better" he asked?

Sara nodded her head. "Yes thanks. Sorry did not realise I was dreaming".

"Do you want to tell me about your dream" asked Grissom.

"It was about the baby I kept looking but could not find it anywhere. Grissom I am so scared for the baby."

"Sara Dr Ryan said the baby is fine. Lets get her to do an ultrasound tomorrow when we are there and give you some assurance ok".

Grissom and Sara spent the rest of the night cuddling on the couch and then watched a movie. They both did everything except talk about getting her results.

The next morning Grissom got up and phoned Catherine. He told her he was not sure if he would be in today as Sara needed him to go with her to get some results but would let her know later on.

"Look Gil is everything ok? Am very worried, is this to do with the baby" asked Catherine.

"Thanks Cath but no it is not to do with the baby but we will let you know this afternoon. Thanks"

***********************

Gil and Sara arrived at the doctors and were taken into Dr Ryan's office were they waited.

"Gil what if it is bad news".

"Honey we will get through this together, lets be positive though".

"Ok Sara and Gil, I have Sara's results and there is not good way to say this so I am just going to come out and say it but Sara your biopsy has come back positive".

"OMG NO this cannot be happening said Sara" who now had tears coming down her face. What about the baby she added.

Gil grabbed her had and kissed her forehead.

"Sara lets take one step at a time. You have what is called Hodgson Disease. I am referring you to a specialist by the name of Dr King and she is able to see you in an hour and it is just down the road and she can go into more detail with you"

"Dr Ryan before we go Sara is desperately worried about the baby are you able to do an ultrasound?" asked Grissom.

"That is not a problem" said Dr Ryan.

10 minutes later and Grissom and Sara were seeing a picture of their baby.

"Do you want to know the sex" asked Dr Ryan?

"YES" they both said together.

"It is a boy".

Grissom and Sara just looked into each other eyes and cried. They cried over their healthy baby boy and also because they did not know what was installed for them now….

**A/N: Please let me a review. Thanks and hope you are enjoying! Remember this is my first story.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

As Sara and Grissom arrived for the appointment with Dr King they had hundreds of thoughts going on in their head but Sara could not stop looking at the picture of her son. No matter what happened this child would be the drive to get through this and she would protect it at all costs.

"Sara Grissom"

"Yes" said Sara

"The doctor is waiting for you come this way please" said the nurse.

Sara and Grissom were greeted by Dr King.

"Hello Sara and Gil I am Dr King as you know. Dr Ryan has sent me through your results. I can confirm with Dr Ryan diagnosis that you have Hodgson's Disease and it has a very good survival rate and is treatable with radiation and chemotherapy".

"Look Dr King I am going to stop you now. I will not be having any radiation or chemotherapy as I am pregnant just over 4 months in fact and do not want to do anything that will harm this baby".

Gil and Dr King looked at Sara in shock.

"Ok Sara I understand that you are pregnant but without treatment especially immediate treatment your chance of beating this goes down rapidly. In circumstances of health the law does allow for terminations this far along".

"NO WAY, absolutely not this child comes first right Gil".

Grissom did not know what to say because although he wanted a child he certainly wanted his wife to be able to live the next fifty years with him.

"Look Sara if it is for your health then may be we should consider it".

"What I cannot believe this, this is our child, your child. Please Grissom do not ask me to choose between you and our child" said Sara sobbing. Grissom grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"Sara if you are not willing to look at any form of medication treatment then I will recommend surgery to remove the lump and surrounding infected lymph nodes as that can buy us some time until you deliver your baby. I would recommend that you deliver the baby at least 4-6 weeks early and then we can start treatment".

"NO I will not jeopardise this baby" screamed Sara.

"I promise you that surgery is completely safe at the stage in your pregnancy and it is your only option. Delivering the baby early will not cause it any harm and we will give you medication so the baby's lungs are fully developed" said Dr King.

"It is a boy" said Sara

"Sorry" the doctor said.

"You can refer to the baby as him as we found out today that it will be a boy".

"Sure. We will make sure that he is safe, extremely safe I promise".

Grissom having been taking all this in finally spoke "when would you recommend that Sara has the surgery?"

"By the end of the week. It is Tuesday now I have time on Friday. I think the sooner we can get this done the better".

"ok" nodded Sara.

Grissom and Sara left. As soon as she got in the car she just sobbed. "Grissom I don't want the surgery".

"I know sweetheart but it is your best option and with your refusal for any other treatment while you are pregnant then you need to take this small risk".

"I am so scared".

"Shhh all will be fine".

Once they got home Grissom phoned Catherine and told her everything she did not know what to say. Grissom asked if she could come over as Sara may find it useful talking to another mother. Catherine agreed. She gathered Greg, Nick and Warrick together and told them the news. The could not believe the news.

Greg kicked in his locked and Nick just said their crying. "Come on guys we need to be strong for Sara". At that moment Brass entered with Catherine.

"Hey guys go home shift is over. Brass and I are heading over to Sara and Gil." said Catherine

"Can you please send them our love" said Nick

"Sure".

They all left in silence as they really had nothing else to say. Each of them prayed it would work out for them all.

**A/N: Please review **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Brass and Catherine were met at the front door by a very despondent Grissom.

"Oh Gil I am so sorry" said Catherine as she wrapped her arms around him in a big hug.

"Thanks" was all that Grissom could say as he felt if he said more he would just lose it and he needed to be strong for Sara.

"Are you ok" said Brass shaking his hand and then patting him on the back. Grissom just nodded his head.

Once they walked into the living room Grissom then made his way into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

"Where is Sara" asked Catherine.

"Lying down. I really don't think she is asleep so go ahead she could probably use some different company" said Grissom.

On entering the bedroom Catherine found Sara curled up in the foetal position quietly sobbing. Catherine just approached the bed and sat down the on edge and rubbed Sara's back.

"I am so sorry Sara". All Sara could do was lift her head and nod. She slowly sat up with tears running down her face and Catherine just held her and let her cry.

"Did Gil tell you everything" said Sara

"Pretty much"

"Cath both Gil and the doctor think it is in my best interest to terminate the pregnancy. I just can't do that" sobbed Sara.

"Well he loves you Sara and they are both just wanting to give you the best treatment that can cure you" said Catherine while tucking a stray hair behind Sara's ear.

"You are a mother Catherine, can you ever imagine not having Lindsay" Sara asked.

Catherine was a bit taken aback by the question so had to think.

"Sara I could never imagine not having her in my life but what would pain me even more is if she went through life with her mother to guide her".

"Oh god I am so scared. Gil really wants me to have the surgery. I know there are risks with that too, I just don't know what to do" Sara sobbed.

"Sara I know you are scared and I would be too. When I was 6 months pregnant with Lindsay I had to have my appendix out, so if she came out of it ok then I will think your baby will too and that was some time ago so think about how everything has changed"

Sara just sat there and nodded. After chatting a bit more the girls decided to go and join the boys in the living room.

Once they entered the room Brass stood by and just hugged Sara. "I am so sorry" said Brass.

"Thanks Jim".

"Gil, Catherine and I have been talking and you can ring Dr King and tell her I will definitely be there on Friday for the operation" Sara said.

Grissom got up and just hugged her so tight.

"Sara I am so happy about that' Grissom said.

"I thought you would be, but like I said to the doctor there will be no chemotherapy until after the baby is born as I really cannot give up on this baby". Sara then placed her hand on her stomach as did Grissom he then just stood there and held her. He then mouthed the words Thank You to Catherine knowing that she played some part in her decision.

Catherine and Jim left soon after and Sara and Grissom order dinner in and then called it a night. He needed to call Ecklie in the morning to get some temporary staff on board as Sara would be on leave for at least one month and he was going to put in to have the same time off to care for her.

As Sara hugged Grissom and eventually fell asleep he did wonder how all would go in the next few days. One thing for sure as long as Sara was pregnant he knew she would fight harder for them both.

**A/N: Please review for me.**

**Sorry for the delay. Will update sooner this time. Thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The day of Sara's surgery arrived. Gil and Sara had been informed of the exact details of Sara's surgery. The lump was located on the left side of her neck and after having a scan it appeared to have spread to part of her lymph nodes which the doctor thought might be the case, so she would need to get the lymph nodes in her left armpit removed too. The surgery was going to be quite painful but Grissom was determined to be there for Sara no matter what.

Sara and Grissom entered the hospital where they were shown to Sara's ward by the nurse who would be looking after Sara.

"Hi Sara my name is Ruby and I will be your nurse today. Here is a gown to get changed into and then the doctor will be in to talk about the surgery and then you will be given your pre-med" said Ruby.

"Thanks" said Sara.

She had barely let go of Grissom's hand since they had entered the hospital.

Once Sara had changed into her gown and was sitting on the bed when Dr King entered.

"Good morning Sara and Gil how are we both doing" asked Dr King

"Ok" Grissom said.

"Sara your pre-med will be given to you in about 10 minutes which will make you rather sleepy. During the surgery we will remove the lump in your neck, now depending on the depth of it will depend how far we have to go in and how big the scare will be. We will then remove the infected nodes in your armpit. Now during the operation we will have a baby monitor on you at all times and there will be a OBGYN doctor in the operation too so your baby will be monitored at all times. We will keep the monitor on you for 24 hours afterwards"

"Thanks. Please take care of the baby" Sara said.

"I promise you both are in safe hands" Dr King said.

10 minutes later Ruby entered and gave Sara her pre-med. Grissom and Sara continued to talk until she started drifting off to sleep.

"Honey you still awake" asked Grissom

"Yep" mumbled Sara.

***************

Sara was taken off to surgery while Grissom phoned the lab to give them an update.

"Gil do you want me to come down and keep you company" Catherine said.

"Thanks Cath but I am fine. Besides I have the rest of my paperwork to do anyway" Grissom said.

After and hour and a bit of paper work Sara was finally wheeled back into her room but still sleeping. Dr King followed behind.

"It all went really well. The lump was a little bigger than we thought so we had to go in rather deep. She will be very sore but we will have her on pain medication for the next 24 hours, don't worry it can't harm the baby. We also took out the lymph nodes so I imagine her arm will be very sore and less mobile for the next few weeks. She should be awake soon".

"Thanks Dr King" Grissom said.

Grissom just sat there listening to Sara's heartbeat as well as their son's. The both were fighters. She also had an oxygen mask over her face and just looked so peaceful but very pale. His heart just ached. He hoped this was some kind of bad dream and he would wake up.

Ruby entered to take her blood pressure and to change her drip as it was empty.

"How is she doing" asked Grissom.

"Really well she should be awake soon. The baby is doing well too" Ruby said.

Grissom just smiled listening to the heart beats.

10 minutes later Grissom felt movement in the hand he was holding. He looked up to see that Sara was awake.

"Hi it all went really well" said Grissom as he kissed her forehead.

Sara tried to move the mask over her face but Grissom stopped. He buzzed for Ruby so she could remove it.

"You finally decided to wake up did you" Ruby said.

Once the mask was removed Ruby left.

"Grissom it really hurts"

"I know sweetheart just try and get some more sleep though"

"Is he ok"

"Yes. Listen to his strong heartbeat just like yours. I will turn it down so you can sleep"

"No it keeps me calm" said a sleepy Sara

2 minutes later and she was fast asleep.

Grissom hoped she would sleep for a couple of hours at least as he knew once she woke the pain would really hit her and he knew she would try and refuse medication.

While she slept Grissom phoned the lab and then fell asleep in the chair beside Sara. He knew he had to look after himself as Sara needed him strong as the next few days would be hard on him but he knew that no matter what he would be there for Sara as he loved her and his unborn son so much…

**A/N: Please leave me a review. Thanks.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Grissom sat next to Sara while she slept when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey how is she doing" asked Catherine who had popped over to see how they were doing and to bring Grissom some food and some coffee.

"So far so good but I think the pain will hit her hard when she wakes up, as the medication will probably start wearing off soon " signed Grissom.

"Gil, Sara is not silly she also knows her pain threshold and knows she needs to keep her strength up for the baby " Catherine said.

"I know. Thanks for the food. Is everything at the lab under control?"

"All is fine. We have Steve from days covering".

"Here is the paperwork I finished too".

Just then Catherine's pager went off so she left. Grissom lent back in his chair while drinking his coffee but he was quickly brought to his feet when he heard groans coming from Sara.

"Ouch, oh Gil it hurts" Sara moaned taking her hand to the back of her neck.

Grissom quickly grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Sara, honey you cannot touch it. You are going to be in a bit of pain so just breathe and I will get the nurse".

30 seconds later and Ruby had entered.

"How are we feeling"

"Not so good , oh god I think I am going to be sick"

Ruby quickly grabbed the basin while Sara vomited. Grissom rubbed her back.

"Better" he asked

"Yep"

"I will page the doctor and get some more medication for Sara" Ruby said.

"No" said stated. "I cannot have any medication as it is not good for the baby"

"Sara the medication will not harm your baby I promise and besides the more pain you are in is more risk to the baby" Ruby said.

"No its not, I refuse medication"

"Come on Sara" Grissom said.

"No, Gil don't argue with me I am too tired to" sighed Sara.

"Ok, I still want to speak with your doctor" Ruby said.

As she left Sara just continued to breathe while closing her eyes but it just did not help.

"Gil, quick am going to be sick again". Grissom held the bowl while Sara continued to be sick. He knew that she was sick due to the pain but there was nothing he could do to force her unless the baby became in distress.

10 minutes later Dr King entered. Sara had been dozing off and on. How are you feeling asked the doctor?"

"Terrible" stated Sara. I had no idea it would be this painful and I keep vomiting.

"Sara we had to go in rather deep as it was bigger than we imagined. The reason you are vomiting is because your body is having trouble with the pain so I would recommend some pain medication it is not harmful to the baby and will make you feel better" Dr King said.

"Thanks but I really do not want any medication" Sara said.

Dr King clearly could see that Sara was in pain but if she was refusing there was nothing she could do.

Grissom left to speak to the doctor. Sara just laid there with her eyes closed listening to her son's heartbeat. She was determined to do this her way.

"Look Gil if Sara is refusing we cannot make her take any medication. The only way we can is if the baby becomes distressed. I will speak to Dr Ryan and get her to do a check but Sara is of sound mind so she will not endanger the baby. If the pain gets worse page me and I will see if we cannot try something else" Dr King said while rushing off towards" another patient.

Grissom walked back to the room. On entering Sara was crying.

"Sara honey what is it"

"Oh Gil the pain is just so bad " sobbed Sara

"That is it I am getting the doctor

"Gil no"

"Sara, I cannot watch you in this amount of pain"

Just as he started to leave the room the baby monitor alarms just went off. Sara then started panicking. Ruby came rushing in as Grissom was about to get help.

"What happened" Ruby asked.

"She starting complaining about the pain and then the monitor starting flashing" Gil said.

Ruby then reached up for the oxygen mask and put it over Sara's face.

"Now Sara I want you to try and relax and breath, any stomach cramps?"

Sara shook her head.

I have paged both Dr King and Dr Ryan so just try and relax.

Grissom had to admit that he was really worried now……….

**A/N: Please review. Sorry to leave this chapter like this. Will update tomorrow.**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

Grissom sat next to Sara holding her hand and telling her to relax while the baby monitor continued to keep. Ruby was on the other side taking Sara's blood pressure. "You are doing really well Sara, just breathe and try and relax the doctors are on there way".

The doctors then came rushing into the room.

"What happened Ruby" asked Dr King.

"Sara was complaining of pain and Gil came rushing out to find me just as the baby monitoring started flashing. I have just taken her BP and it is 148 over 107".

"Sara your blood pressure is extremely high which I imagine is causing the baby to become distressed. Dr Ryan is on her way and will do an ultrasound the minute she arrives. Sara with the amount of pain you are in and on top of you being sick is most probably causing the baby to be sick too. I have to insist you take some pain relief to help you rest" Dr King said

Sara did not know what to say instead just lay there and the tears just fell down her face.

"Shh honey it will be ok" said Grissom kissing her face.

"Sara I want to keep you on oxygen until you bp comes down ok". Sara just nodded. Ruby took the mask off and replaced it with the nasal oxygen.

Dr Ryan then just entered the room wheeling in an ultrasound. She un-strapped the monitor from her stomach and got prepared for the ultrasound

"Ok Sara this might be cold". The doctor got the image on the screen and started looking concerned.

"What is wrong with out son" sobbed Sara

"Ok can you hear the heartbeat Sara?"

"Ahh" nodded Sara. Grissom just stood there comforting his wife.

"Your son is going to be ok, he is a little underweight at the moment so you need to take better care of yourself. You have just had a major operation so you need to rest and take some pain relief. It will not harm your son he is only acting to how you are feeling" Dr Ryan said.

"Ruby can you please go and get some pain relief for Sara" Dr King said.

"I will be back tomorrow for another ultrasound Sara and we will keep the baby monitor on for another 24 hours, please try and sleep no being a hero ok?"

"Thank you Dr Ryan and sorry" Sara said.

"Look Sara I know you love your baby but you need to tell us how you are feeling" . Dr Ryan then left.

Ruby returned with the pain medication and while she was giving it Dr King examined her scars. It look like the one in her neck was weeping and could be infected so she redressed it and wrote Sara up for some antibiotics. Dr King was really concerned about her state of mind and would monitor her. A few minutes later and Sara was asleep so Grissom walked out to talk to the doctor.

"Is she ok" asked Grissom

"Look Gil I am not going to lie to you I am really worried about her state of mind. Sara is far from out the woods and in order to beat this disease she needs to take better care of herself. The surgery is only an interim step until the baby is born and the more she refuses treatment then she is at higher risk for miscarriage. Also getting stressed she is putting her scars at risk of infection"

Grissom just nodded.

"Look with your permission I would like to keep Sara here longer as I think she can do with the rest" Dr King said.

"I totally agree" Grissom said.

He walked back into Sara's room and watched her sleep. He was a wreck and barely coping. He then picked up the phone.

"Willows"

"Hey Cath, its me. If have time can you please come down to the hospital or send one of the guys"

"I am on my way"

Catherine arrived 10 minutes later. Shift had just finished too.

"Hey, how is she?"

"Not good, she is in so much pain and up to an hour ago was refusing medication, the baby went into distress, she is just not thinking straight. She just wants the baby to be healthy and is therefore neglecting her own pain". sighed Grissom

"Oh Gil" said Catherine rubbing his arm.

"The ultrasound was fine but the baby is a little small which is not good considering she is only 20 weeks now, the Dr wants Sara to stay in a week longer which I agreed"

"Brave man Gil Grissom"

"I know she will be mad but it is for her own good"

"Ok what can I do? Asked Catherine

"Can you sit with her. I need to go home and shower and sleep as I know I am not going to be any good for her like this"

"At least one of you is thinking straight" Catherine said.

As Grissom left Catherine entered the room. He heart ached as a mother she knew she would put her child first but if it risked her child's life then she would not. She just hoped Sara would come to her senses. She laid there listening to both the heart beats of Sara and her son.

A few minutes later Sara woke up.

"Hey how are you feeling" asked Catherine.

"Pretty sore, where is Gil?"

"He went home to shower and have a quick nap"

"Good he has been amazing I don't know what I would do without him"

"He loves you both so much. Sara you need to take care of yourself and the baby as when you are pain the baby is" Catherine said

" I know" sighed Sara.

"Can you do me a favour?" Sara asked

"Sure"

"Can you grab the nurse and see if they can give me something for the pain or to help sleep, noth" Catherine quickly but her off

"Nothing that will harm the baby right, don't worry".

Sara just nodded and thanked her lucky stars for her friends and her amazing husband. She placed her hand on her stomach and prayed her Son would be like Grissom. At that moment she was going to be smarter about this as the doctors would not do anything to endanger the baby, she just prayed this would be over soon. She laid there and the tears just fell.

Catherine then entered with Sara's new nurse Gemma. Sara did seem notice the medication and was asleep 10 minutes later. Catherine prayed that may be Sara had turned the corner emotionally, time would tell….

**A/N: Please review. Thanks so much for all your comments really appreciate it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Grissom returned to the hospital about 2 hours later to find Catherine sitting with Sara who was sleeping soundly.

"Hey, how is she doing?" whispered Grissom

"Fine. She woke up not long after you left and said she was in a bit of pain and asked for some more pain relief so I am guessing you had an effect on her" Catherine said.

"Thanks for sitting with her. You should get some sleep before you have to head back for your shift"

"If you need anything call me. The guys said they will be in after shift too"

"Thanks" Grissom said.

After another 3 hours Sara finally started waking and looked much better.

"Hey there sleepy head, how are you feeling"

"Much better, when do you think I can get home as I just want my own bed" asked Sara?

Grissom sighed and took Sara's hand. "Honey Dr King wants you to stay just a bit longer, the more rest you get is better and you are in the best place"

"How much longer"?

"May be 3 days" Sara made a face and was about to say something when Grissom said "Please do this for me sweetheart" begged Grissom

"Ok".

********************************

After another 4 days Sara was finally released from the hospital with her wounds healing and the pain decreasing she would be able to go home as long as she took it easy. The baby was given the all clear too. As Sara was getting dressed Grissom noticed how big her belly was now getting and she was not able to do her trousers up so Grissom promised he would get Catherine to pick her up some maternity clothes.

Sara needed to go back to the doctors once a week for blood tests to monitor everything but the doctor made it clear that she still needed further treatment.

Grissom was back at work and Sara was begging him to let her come back to work.

"No way Sara, you are not coming back to work"

"If the doctor says I can then I will"

"You need your supervisor to sign off on it and I am not going to do that"

"Gil you are not my supervisor and Catherine said if I get the all clear then she will"

"Sara you are backing me into a corner here IF you are given the all clear then there will be rules"

"What rules" Sara asked

"Ok you will not be doing any doubles. You will only be able to work 5 days and if you are tired at any time then you must rest ok" said Grissom

"Fine" Sara agreed.

"Sara not only are you still sick but you are 5 months pregnant so you need to take it easy"

"Gil I promise".

2 weeks later and Sara was given the all clear to return to work. She had to stay in the lab for the first few weeks but she did not mind. She was amazed at how much the baby was growing and Dr Ryan had told Sara that the baby was at normal weight now. Her blood tests did not change too much with her white cells still showing the infection in her body but it had not dropped too much so there was no immediate danger.

********************************

2 months later and Sara was now 7 months pregnant and really finding it hard even though she would not say anything as work was a really good distraction.

Catherine, Sara and Nick were called out to a double homicide. It looked liked the two lovers killed each other in a Romeo and Juliet style. Sara was taking pictures of the young girl while Nick was doing the man and Catherine was checking the parameter. While Sara was bent down she felt the beds of sweat run down her face. Nick noticed.

"Sara are you ok?" asked Nick

"It is just a little hot in this room and seems a bit stuffy, I think I might go outside and grab some fresh air" Sara said

As she started to stand she felt a small camp in her stomach and crouched over. "Sara" yelled Nick

"It's ok just a twinge Nick, I am fine I promise" Sara said

As she started to walk towards the door she felt the room move and before she knew it everything went black.

Nick ran towards her and caught her just in time.

"Catherine quick" yelled Nick

"Sara, come on wake up"

Catherine came running in. "What happened" demanded Catherine.

"She was taking pictures and I noticed she was sweating when I asked her if she was ok she said she just needed some fresh air and then she doubled over with a cramp but insisted she was fine, what is wrong"

"Nicky call an ambulance now"

Nick went and called the ambulance.

"Catherine should I call Grissom"

"Not yet wait til she in the ambulance" said Catherine

They heard the sirens in the background

Just as they were about to pull up Catherine noticed that Sara was bleeding.

"Nick quick, go and meet the ambulance tell them she is pregnant and bleeding"

Just then the paramedics came rushing through.

What happened. "She started sweating and the cramped up. She just starting bleeding too. She is 7 months pregnant but also has Hodgkin's Disease" Catherine said.

"Ok lets get some oxygen on her and then get the IV into her. Once the IV was in they had her on the stretcher and were placing her into the ambulance

"I am going with her" demanded Catherine

"Nick call Grissom and have him meet us there. Tell him to phone her doctors" yelled Catherine.

Nick stood there as the ambulance sped off.

**A/N: Please review. Thanks for all your comments really appreciate it**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

As they rode to the hospital . The paramedics worked on Sara. She came in and out of consciousness but was very confused. Catherine could not believe how long it was taking to get to the hospital. Even though it felt like 20 minutes it was in fact 2 minutes. Catherine was extremely concerned that Sara was bleeding.

As they arrived Dr Ryan her OBGYN was waiting and rushed her into emergency while Catherine had to nervously wait outside and for Grissom to come.

Grissom ran straight in. "What happened" said Grissom is a puffed voice.

"I am not really sure Nick was with her and said he noticed she was sweating when he asked her if she was ok she said she was but needed some fresh air she then had a cramp and then collapsed". Catherine said with tears in her eyes.

"One other thing Gil, she has started bleeding" sighed Catherine.

"Oh god. I never should have let her come back to work. She is 7 months pregnant and should not be in the field. Not to mention the cancer she needs to rest, GOD DAMN IT" yelled Grissom.

Just then a Dr Ryan appeared.

"Gil".

Grissom basically ran to her.

"How is Sara?" he asked.

"Honestly not good. The baby was in distress but we have managed to stop the bleeding at the moment. Her blood pressure is way too high. We will have to deliver him early but hopefully we can at least get her through the next couple of weeks. We have given her a steroid for the baby's lungs just in case we have to deliver him early. Sara will most probably have to stay here until the baby is born but then that depends on her" said Dr Ryan.

"Can I see her"

"Sure. Dr King will be by shortly to discuss Sara's cancer and exactly where they are at. Look Gil she is still very groggy as she was extremely dehydrated. "

"Thanks again doctor".

As Grissom entered the room he could hear the baby monitor which he was relived about. He pulled up a chair next to Sara and held her hand. A few minutes later and her eyes fluttered until they opened fully and focused on the person sitting next to her.

"Hey, how are you feeling" asked Grissom

"Not the best. What happened" asked a confused Sara

"You collapsed at the scene. Catherine and Nick called an ambulance. You started bleeding. Now don't panic, at the moment he is fine but the doctor said you will need to stay here until the baby is born which will probably be in a couple of weeks"

"No Gil, it is too early he is not ready" said Sara rubbing her belly.

"Sara your blood pressure is way too high which is putting you both at risk. The doctor has given you a steroid so his lungs can develop a little quicker. Dr King will be in soon,"

"Oh Gil I am not ready to have him as I am so scared" sobbed Sara.

Grissom walked towards the bed and held Sara. A few minutes later Dr King walked in.

"Hello Sara. You gave us all quite a scare. How are you feeling"

"Not the best"

"Well I have your blood test results and the infection has certainly flared up. Sara I have spoken with Dr Ryan who said that the baby will be born no later than 3 weeks time. We really need to start the chemotherapy asap as otherwise there is a chance it will start spreading. Basically the day after he is born you will begin treatment immediately, any questions?" asked Dr King

"No that is fine" Grissom said.

Sara just stared at him.

"Do I get any say in this? Asked Sara

"Sara you are extremely unwell, more than you are willing to admit. Use this time to rest up. I will be back later".

Sara felt like her head was spinning everything was out of control. She laid there and closed her eyes and tried to take in everything.

"Sweetheart are you ok" asked Grissom.

Sara opened her eyes and the tears just came and came

"Gil this is a nightmare I don't know what to do. He is going to be so small and they are going to pump this poison into my body and I will probably be too sick to see him and won't be able to breastfeed him that is for sure. He will think I have abandoned him".

"How could he think that when you are doing this in order to be there for him"

"Oh Gil I just don't know what to do" sobbed Sara. She kept crying and he got in bed behind her and just let her cry until she fell asleep. He also noticed that the monitor seemed calmer too. As she slept he laid there and just let the tears fall. He just hoped that the next few days would be ok.

He prayed that he would not loose them both and somehow there was light at the end of the tunnel….

**AN: Thanks for all the comments. Please let me a review. Probably a bit longer for my next update as I have a work function and will be away for a few days. Will update as soon as I can though.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Grissom sat next to Sara while she slept. He was just dozing off to sleep again when he heard a soft tap a the door and saw Catherine standing there.

"How is she doing" asked Catherine

"Better she is resting so at least that is good. The cancer is flaring up so she will have to have him in the next 3 weeks and start treatment asap"

"Oh Gil I'm so sorry"

"Look Catherine I am really sorry for yelling at you"

"Don't go there Gil I know how concerned you were"

"Catherine I am going to need you to get some help in at work as I am going to take some more time off as Sara and the baby will need me."

"I will get Steven from days back on board and will speak with Ecklie too"

"Thanks Catherine".

"Gil don't forget that I am here if you need a hand don't hesitate to ask. The boys will be in later too" said Catherine.

"Thanks. I think she will enjoy the company as she needs come cheering up" Grissom said.

Catherine left and about 20 minutes later Sara woke up. She forgot for a moment what had happened and where she was.

"Hey how are you feeling" asked Grissom while touching her hair.

"Ok, pretty tired to be honest. How is the baby".

"He is doing as well as can be expected. Dr Ryan will be in soon to do an ultrasound and see how things stand"

"Gil, I want to go home" said Sara tearing up.

"I know sweetheart but unfortunately that is not an option at the moment. You will be here until he is born and also while you have your first treatment" as he said that Sara broke down in tears.

"Shh it will be ok. I will be here with you every step of the way . We will get through this together" said Grissom kissing her head.

Just then the nurse walked in with a bunch of flowers.

"who are they from?" asked a teary Sara?

The nurse handed Sara the card which read:

_We are all thinking of you at the moment. Rest up and we will see you soon. Love Catherine, Brass, Nick, Warrick and Greg_

Sara looked at Grissom and tears just fell. "Hey what is with the tears. Everyone just loves you" said Grissom wiping away her tears.

"I know. I am sorry I just can't stop the tears today".

Dr Ryan then entered with Ruby her old nurse wheeling in the ultrasound machine.

"Well hello nice to see you again and look at this" said Ruby touching Sara's belly.

Sara just smiled. "I know it has grown somewhat"

Ruby grabbed her hand "everything will be ok, just try and relax ok"

Sara nodded.

"Ok Sara this may be cold, lets have a look and see what is going on"

As Dr Ryan applied the jell to Sara's stomach Grissom grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"Ok Sara. Things are looking ok. He is at a good size although he will be very small when he is delivered as he will be early. We are going to give you the start of the steroid injections today which will at least strength his lungs"

"Dr Ryan if he is going to be small then why are we delivering him so early when he is ok" asked Sara

"Sara you know why. I have seen you blood test results from Dr King and we have no choice. Trust me this is the best outcome and you and your son will be in the best hands"

"Dr Ryan will Sara be able to deliver naturally?" asked Grissom

"No sorry with everything it is better for her to have a c-section"

"No way" yelled Sara

"Sara this is not up for negotiation. You do realise that you have Hodgkin's Disease? Don't you? Asked Dr Ryan

"Yes I do"

"The Sara let us do what we know is best"

"Ok. Will I be able to breastfeed him"

"Sara" sighed the doctor "I wish I could say yes but as you will be going straight in for treatment it is not possible"

"I see" said Sara as she started to cry

Grissom grabbed her hand tighter. "Come on Sara you know this is for the best " said Grissom

"Sara, Gil is right. We are doing everything we can to get you healthy and so you can have many more times with your son. I have booked the c-section in for 3 weeks. You are on strict bed rest here until then. Any pain or anything please let me know" said Dr Ryan.

The doctor left and Grissom and Sara were left to their own thoughts. Sara just lay there listening to the monitor and trying not to cry but it did not last. She burst into tears worrying Grissom.

"Come on Sara you need to calm down".

Grissom just held her and she finally calmed down.

She was taking a sip of water when a huge pain hit her stomach. Sara just grabbed her stomach

"What is it" asked Grissom"

"Pain" was all Sara could say

Grissom hit the buzzer just as the baby alarm started going off. Grissom grabbed Sara's hand

"Sara look at me. Just relax, help is on the way"

Sara looked at Grissom and tried to relax but the pain was just so intense.

**A/N: Please review. Sorry for the delay but have been away. Thanks for being patient.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

As the alarms went crazy both Ruby and Dr Ryan entered the room.

"What happened" asked the doctor reaching over the place some oxygen on Sara.

"Sara just try and relax for me".

"She was upset and I was calming her down when she was hit by intense pain in her stomach" said a stressed Grissom.

"Okay Sara I am going to have a feel and tell me if it hurts".

She placed pressure in Sara's lower abdomen and Sara let out a loud groan.

"Okay Sara I am going to do a quick ultrasound "

Sara nodded. Grissom sat next to her gripping her had.

"You are doing great sweetheart". He could see the look of fear n her eyes though.

Just as the doctor was about to begin the ultrasound Sara was hit with another one.

"Okay Sara jus breathe for me. Lets do this quick". The doctor studied the images and then wrote something down and handed it to Ruby who was taking her blood pressure. Ruby quickly exited the room.

"Sara you are in premature labour, now before you start to panic I have sent Ruby off to get me some medication to give you to stop the labour. What I am going to do is to insert some mmagnesium sulphate into the IV which will slow down the labour hopefully. I really do not want us to deliver the baby just yet if this does not work then we will go straight to the OR and deliver him".

Just then Ruby walked back in with the medication.

"This should start working. Gil if there are any contractions please time then and let me know immediately okay. I will be back in about 10 minutes. Sara please try and relax"

Grissom sat there rubbing Sara's stomach and hoping that the baby would settle down. He just wished that this was all a bad dream. He knew that Sara's was not only in pain with the labour but she was really starting to look sick and just hoped that they had not missed their chance to save her.

30 minutes later and the doctor was happy with the progress. The medication seemed to be working for now.

**************************************

10 days later and Catherine and Grissom were playing a game of cards with Sara when she was suddenly hit with the same pain as last time. Grissom rushed out while Catherine tried to relax Sara.

"Cath, I think my water just broke" said Sara with tears coming down her face.

"Ok, everything is going to be fine. Gil has gone to get some help so just try and breathe for me.

The doctor came running through.

"Dr Ryan I think my water just broke"

"Okay let me have a look. Sara lie down for me please".

As she did the doctor confirmed that she was in fact in labour and quickly notified the OR.

15 minutes later Sara was being wheeled into the OR with Grissom by her side.

"Sara have you thought of a name? I just realised we have not picked one out".

"Lets have a look at him and then name him" Sara said.

Grissom knew that she did not want to give him a name until she knew he was okay.

20 minutes later and Sara and Grissom were greeted with the sound of a baby crying. Sara looked at Grissom and then just cried.

"Sara and Gil you have a baby boy"

Dr Ryan quickly brought him over to them to have a look and then he was put in the humidicrib.

Grissom leaned over and kissed Sara. "You did it" he said. She corrected him "no we did it".

"Gil we have a son" said Sara with tears coming down.

"Dr Ryan is he ok" asked Sara

"He is small and will have to be in hospital for about 4-6 weeks but if he is anything like his mother he will be fine. We are going to put a little feeding tube in his nose and a drip in his arm but he will be fine"

They stitched Sara up and moved her in to recovery. Dr Ryan came back in.

"Sorry guys I know you are trying to rest but we need a name for him"

Grissom looked at Sara.

"Do you have any ideas?" asked Grissom

Sara looked at him

"How about Luca Michael Grissom?"

"I think that is lovely. Michael after my father, he would be very happy" said Grissom.

A few hours later and Sara was returned to her room but was dozed up on pain medication so she slept while Grissom phoned the office.

Grissom went into the special care nursery and looked at his son.

"Would you like to hold your son Mr Grissom" asked the nurse.

"Is that ok?"

"Sure just for a few minutes"

As Grissom held Luca he could not believe how precious and little he was.

"You and I are going to have to help your mother as she is very sick at the moment and will need us all the way so you hang in there Luca" said Grissom kissing his forehead.

The nurse placed him back in his crib. Grissom just prayed that they would get through the next phase…..

**A/N: Please review for me. Next few chapters will be about Sara's illness. Took me ages to think of the baby's name. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks again for reading**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Sara was finally starting to wake up. Grissom was sitting by her side.

"Hey"

"What are you doing here, you should be with Luca" said Sara

"He is fine and resting" said Grissom

"I need to see him"

"Ok I will track down a wheel chair for you. Remember you have just had stiches so you need to be careful"

"I know"

5 minutes later and Grissom was back with a chair helping Sara.

"Careful" he reminded her

"I know, just a little tender"

A few minutes later and they were in the special care unit. Grissom wheeled her right up close. She took one look at him and just gasped.

"He is just so perfect"

"Mrs Grissom would you like to hold your son" asked the nurse.

"I would love to, but will he be okay?"

"He will be fine and I think he could use a cuddle from his mother don't you"

Sara just nodded and agreed.

Luca was carefully placed in her arms. Sara was careful of the little drip and tube in his nose. She could not believe how small he was. She just sat there kissing his head.

"Mommy loves you so much baby"

The nurse put him back in the crib. Sara just sat there starring at him.

"Come on Sara time to go back" said Grissom.

"Just another 20 minutes please" begged Sara.

"Sorry but he needs his rest and plus Dr King is coming by to talk to you about your treatment so we better get going"

Grissom had just got Sara settled back into bed when Dr King arrived.

"Well congratulations mommy and well done daddy" said Dr King

"Have you seen him yet " asked Sara

"Not yet but I will go and have a look"

"How are the stiches"

"Ok a little tender but ok".

Dr King sat on the edge of the bed and took out Sara's file.

"Ok Sara now what is going to happen is that firstly you are going to be moved to the oncology ward. Now before you say anything I have spoken to the nurses in special care and they will be bringing Luca up to visit you a couple of time a day. You need to be there as the nurses are more trained in dealing with chemotherapy than in maternity which means you will be getting the best possible care"

"Okay" said Sara

"Tomorrow morning I will commence the treatment. As we have delayed your treatment by about 4-5 months we need to use a stronger drug. It will be administered through an IV. We will give you 4 cycles over the next 4 months. The first is normally ok with the second and third being more intense. I will leave you this booklet which will tell you about the side effects. Try not to worry. The nurse will be in to arrange you transfer shortly. See you tomorrow" Dr King sad while stroking Sara's leg.

"Thanks"

"Gil you have a moment" said Dr King

Grissom walked outside

"Now Gil I don't know how you are doing but I would recommend you use this time to go and catch-up on some sleep. Sara and the baby will both need you. I would recommend on either hiring a nurse or getting a friend to help as with a new baby and Sara's treatment, it might be rough"

"Thanks I really appreciate your advice. Is it possible for Sara to be treated as an inpatient or will she be treated as an outpatient for the next treatments"

"Look Gil I would like to treat her as an inpatient but to be honest she is not sick enough to warrant that. It will also depend on how her first treatment goes. Look I will see if I can pull some strings but Sara may not want that and you know how determined she gets"

"I know. I will speak with our friends and see what I can arrange. See you tomorrow and thanks"

**********************************

Sara had woken when she heard some familiar voices in her room.

"Hey mommy congratulations" said the guys.

Nick, Greg, Warrick, Catherine and Brass entered for a quick visit bringing flowers and a giant blue teddy bear for Luca.

"We just had a peek at the new little guy and he is just beautiful" said Brass

"Definitely looks like you Sara as there is no way that Grissom can be that cute" Greg joked.

"Speaking of Grissom where is he" asked Catherine

"Gone home for some much needed sleep before the big treatment begins tomorrow. They are moving me up to the oncology ward soon but have promised they will bring Luca up at lest twice a day but only if I am not being sick"

"You will be fine, look how strong you have been so far" said Warrick.

"Well guys I think we should let Sara get some rest" Catherine said

They all gave her big hugs and kisses. They told her they would come and visit her but promised to call first. Catherine stayed behind for a few minutes.

"Catherine I know you are all shorthanded at the moment without Gil and me"

"Not to worry we have been getting help from a days and swing and Ecklie was even out in the field the other day" joked Catherine

"Well Gil is exhausted with me and Luca and I don't know what will happen with the next treatment when we are home, but what I am trying to ask is are you able to help out I mean come over for the next treatment and during tomorrow as I just don't think Gil will cope and I don't have any family here to ask"

"Sara it would be my pleasure" said Catherine squeezing her hand.

Sara was not as worried now that she knew Catherine was on board as she just worried about Gil. Time would tell how it all went and tomorrow would be the start of it all. She prayed that someone would be listening to her and her prayers would be answered and that the news would be good…

**A/N: Please read and review. Thanks for your great reviews.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Grissom had brought Luca up with the permission of the special care unit and Sara was getting her last hold for a couple of days as she would not be able to be near him until the medication had been through her. Dr King entered as she was giving Luca another kiss. She could not believe how much he had grown since the last 24 hours.

"Well isn't he lovely" said Dr King

"We think so but we are bias" said Sara

The nurse was wheeling him out when Sara urged Grissom to go with him. After much arguing Sara finally listened to him and let him stay while Luca was taken back as they both knew he was in the best possible place.

"Okay Sara are you ready" said Dr King

"As ready as I will ever be"

Grissom grabbed Sara's spare hand while the doctor inserted the IV into her am and then connected the medication.

"I will be back in a few hours. If you feel sick in any way or not sure do not hesitate to hit the buzzer. Your nurse will be Penny" said Dr King.

2 hours into it and Sara started to become bored and agitated.

"When did Dr Ryan say that Luca could come home" asked Sara

"In about 3-4 weeks. Hopefully we can bring him home before you start your next treatment" said Grissom

"Dr King said that you should be able to home by the end of the week as your stiches should be able to be taken out by then" said Grissom

Another hour passed and Dr King entered and took out the IV.

"How are you feeling"

"Fine, mainly just a bit tired"

"Well that is a side effect but you have also had surgery recently so it is possibly from that"

"Rest up Sara and I will be back later on. Penny will be in later to take your temperature. It is important that we monitor your temperature as any infection will take much longer to get rid of"

"Okay".

Sara was trying to make small talk with Grissom when she finally gave into sleep. Catherine stopped by and stayed with Sara while she slept so Grissom could go home and shower and also spend some time with his Son. They were doing there very best to spend some time with him so he could bound with them properly.

*********************************************

At the end of the week Sara was discharged. She was amazed that other than a loss of appetite she really did not have any major symptoms. She had slept quite a bit. After 2 days she was finally allowed to visit her son. She was amazed at how well he was doing and was allowed to help feed him. His little drip had been removed.

"Gil I don't think I can bare leaving here without him" said Sara.

"I know but we do not have any choice". Besides you will be here every day to feed him and hopefully he can come home sooner" said Grissom

Sara just nodded.

"Besides use this time to get yourself well as you know what they said about the second round of chemotherapy"

"I know" said Sara

"Come on lets go home"

************************************

Once they got home Sara walked into the nursery and could not believe what a great job he had done setting it up.

"Wow you have outdone yourself Gilbert"

"I love it when you call me Gilbert" said Grissom passionately kissing Sara

"I missed that"

Grissom picked her up and took into the bedroom where they started making love. Sara could not believe how much she missed him and knew that with the next treatment and with Luca coming home they may not have another opportunity soon.

"Gil, I love you so much. You have been amazing and I do not know what I would have done without you"

"You are my wife and you need to know I would do anything for you" said Grissom passionately kissing Sara again.

"Gil, I have asked Catherine to help out with the next treatment. I need you to be there for Luca so he has one parent he recognises so Catherine can be with me here. Also Gil I am having the next treatments as an out patient as I need to be home"

"Okay if you are sure. I can get Catherine to sit with Luca and I can be with you"

"Thanks Gil but it is important that he is with you"

As they both lay there Sara fell into a deep sleep in her husbands arms. Her thoughts went to her son she could not wait to get him home and was dreading her next round already. She just hoped her son would not forgot who she was….

**A/N: Please read and review. Will update soon I promise **


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

It had been almost a month since Sara's treatment and a today they were bringing Luca home. They both could not believe how well he was going and how big he had become. Both Sara and Grissom were extremely nervous but excited about bringing him home.

The minute they got him in his car seat he fell straight asleep.

"Would you look at that, he can't even see the scenery" joked Grissom

Sara just smiled looking lovingly into the back at her son. Once they pulled up Sara picked him up and took him straight inside into his bed.

"Now this is your own room and while it may seem scary, mommy and daddy are just up the hallway and your monitor here will pick up all the sounds that you make" said Sara gazing into her son's big blue eyes

Grissom stood there smiling at her. He could not believe what an amazing mother she was. Sara turned around and saw him standing there.

"How long have you been standing there'

"Long enough to know that you are the most amazing mother" said Grissom while kissing Sara passionately.

"Lets go. We have to wake him in about an hour for his bottle anyway" said Sara as Grissom and her walked down the hallway.

"Gil I think I might lie down. Can you wake me when it is time to feed him"

"Honey I can feed him"

"No I really want to do it and besides I will probably be no help next week with my next treatment starting so I really need to do this" said Sara

"I understand".

Sara was a bit anxious about her next round of treatment, Dr King had nicely given her an extra week as Luca was being brought home so she could get him settled in at home.

The next days flew by and Sara and Grissom had managed to get themselves into a routine. The gang called in and could not stop looking at him. They all wanted to hold him so it was very amusing.

"Hey Sara anytime you need a babysitter don't hesitate as I am very good with kids" said Nick.

"Thanks we will keep that in mind" said Sara.

They all left except Catherine. "Ok I will pick you up tomorrow at 9 if that suits you" Catherine said

"That sounds fine to me".

"Sara I can go and Catherine can watch Luca" said Grissom with a sleepy Luca on his shoulder

"No I need you to be with him please" said Sara taking Luca from him

"I am going to put him down so will see you tomorrow, Gil can you please see Catherine out"

"She is very stubborn so if she says she is fine she probably won't be. I have all the supplies ready for tomorrow too" said Grissom

"Thanks Gil. We will be fine".

A few hours later Grissom went looking for Sara and found her asleep in the rocking chair with Luca.

"Hey sweetie you have to go to bed"

"Sorry, what" said a confused Sara "I just wanted some extra time with him"

"He will be fine and you can still see him after the initial first day"

"Come on sleeping beauty lets go to bed"

************************************************

At exactly 9am Catherine arrived to pick Sara up.

When they arrived at the hospital they were taken to the oncology ward. Dr King greeted them.

"How are we feeling"

"A bit nervous" said Sara

"I thought you might be this time so I am going to get you settled in and then I will send the nurse in"

"Thanks" said Sara squeezing her hand.

"See now that was nothing, look how good you are doing" said Catherine being light-hearted

3 hours later and after discussing the forensic journal and two games of scrabble later, Erica the nurse took out Sara's IV but insisted that if there was any problems at all to call immediately.

As they entered home Grissom was waiting in the living room and looked like he had been for some time.

"How did it go" he asked?

"So far so good" said Sara giving him a big cuddle

"How is Luca" perfect said Grissom

"Typically, must take after Sara" Catherine said.

Is there anything you want" asked Catherine

"I feel a bit light headed so I might go and lie down"

"Let me help you" followed Catherine

Once Sara got in bed she started to feel weird and forgot for a moment where she was

"Where am I"? mumbled Sara

"At home, its Cath I am here to help you ok"?

Sara just shook she head. You think you might be sick?

Sara nodded and Catherine quickly got her up and took her straight to the bathroom. Lucky their bedroom had an ensuite so it was not all that far.

Once inside Sara emptied her entire stomach and all Catherine could do was hold her hair back and rub her back

"Good girl, more asked Catherine

Sara nodded

"Ok"

After about 30 minutes Sara could barely remember how to be sick anymore and Catherine took her back to the room. 15 minutes later she was sound asleep.

Grissom then popped his head in but Catherine quickly exited so Sara was not woken up.

"How is she"

"Sick" replied Catherine.

"She has thrown up for the last 30 minutes. She is finally asleep so not sure how long until she wakes up again with another urge"

"Shit" mumbled Grissom

"Gil, you need to be strong for her" reassured Catherine

***********************************************

An hour later Sara woke up feeling so weak and dirty. Catherine helped her in a warm bath. The rest of the day was spent sleeping and throwing up. Sara could not believe how bad she felt but kept looking at a picture of Luca and Grissom in a locket around her neck knowing this was for them.

She feel back asleep and when she woke Grissom was spooned next to her with his arms around her.

"Where is Catherine"

"Feeding Luca"

"How are you feeling"

"Better".

"You are amazing my love"

"I love you Gil, please never forgot that and never let Luca forget that either"…….

"Never my love but you will be here to tell him yourself, never forgot that"

With that they both just held each other and drifted back to sleep.

**A/N: Please review. Sorry about the late post been pretty busy**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

The next few weeks went along okay for Sara. She still did not feel her vibrant self but she was coping. What made her feel better was cuddles from Luca and Grissom.

Sara was sitting on the couch folding laundry when Grissom appeared with Luca in his arms

"Morning baby" said Sara with Grissom passing him to Sara and handing her the bottle

"You are a little thirsty boy this morning"

"He was very excited about seeing his mother" smiled Grissom kissing her on the forehead.

"How are you feeling today"

"Much better"

"Dr King rang and she wants a follow up appointment with you in 6 weeks so that will be 2 weeks after your next appointment" Said Grissom

"Great" sighed Sara

"Come on don't be like that you will be fine"

It was something that Sara was trying not to think about.

"Gil, can you believe how big Luca is getting"

"I know. Hey the team are coming over for Pizza on Friday night and before you say anything they miss Luca"

"So they don't want to see me" joked Sara

Sara had not really up for visitors lately as she had become rather pale still and had lost a bit of weight so was rather embarrassed about her appearance.

The next 2 weeks flew by and the night before the next round Sara was yet again sleeping with Luca in his arms. This time when Grissom woke her up he suggested that they let him sleep with them tonight. Sara hardly slept at all as she just kept staring at him.

***********************************************************

This time Catherine brought some cases to talk to Sara about as she figured that it would help take her mind off what was happening or what would happen. Sara enjoyed the distraction except for the last hour when she seemed to fade in and our of sleep. Catherine just let her sleep and looked at her notes. The nurse entered and checked Sara's drip.

"She only has about another 10 minutes or so to go" said the nurse.

"Don't worry many patients tend to get sleepy towards the end. How was her sickness last time?"

"Not so good"

"If she does become really ill, don't hesitate to call. This is the after hours number and we can answer any of your concerns"

"Thanks" said Catherine

As the nurse started to take the drip out Sara started to wake up.

"How long have I been asleep"

"About an hour"

"Sorry Catherine I must have been really stimulating company then"

"Not to worry. Are you ready to go"

Catherine helped Sara walked to the lift as she was still a bit tired and dizzy from her nap.

********************************************

As they arrived home Grissom was sitting there feeding Luca. He stood up to kiss her but she stopped him as she did not like being around Luca after her first day of treatment. Sara went straight into the bedroom to get changed . Catherine was not far behind her.

"Catherine I am going to have a sleep"

"Ok I will come back and check on you in about 20 minutes. I will grab you a glass of water and a bucket just in case" said Catherine as she tucked Sara in

Catherine went back to Grissom

"So how did it really go"

"Ok. She was pretty tired and fell into a deep sleep during, she has gone to sleep now"

"Cath, I am worried about her the fatigue, the weight loss and trying to be a mother I think it is too much for her"

Gil, just let her be she is struggling but just support her and she will be fine" Catherine said

*************************************

25 minutes later and Catherine entered to see how Sara was doing.

She noticed that Sara was till sleeping but then noticed that she was dripping with sweat all over her face so she grabbed a cloth while doing it Sara woke.

"Sorry I did not mean to wake you but you are sweating, are you ok"

"Cath, quick grab me the bucket" Sara then heavied her entire breakfast

"Sara can you walk to the bathroom"

"I think so"

Once in there Sara was sick another 4 times and when there was nothing to throw up anymore she was just sick on her own bile.

"Oh god Catherine, this is the pits"

"Back to bed we go"

"Sara I want you to drink some water"

"Not yet" groaned Sara

After sitting with Sara for the last 10 minutes she starting come in and out of it.

"Gil" she moaned while tears fell down her face.

"Hold on I will get him"

Gil Sara is asking for you, although she may not realise she is, she is really out of it. Where is Luca"?

"He is sound asleep"

Grissom entered the room and lay on the bed next to Sara so that she rested against him.

"Gil I really feel sick"

"I know, just close your eyes and try and sleep, I promise I will be here when you wake up"

"Luca,"

"Don't worry Catherine will watch him.

**************************************

The next few days Sara slowly started feeling better. Although the last few days had been rough. Grissom had hired a sitter for the next round as he felt he really needed to be there for Sara. She was becoming very weak at the moment but that was due to the weight loss and the fatigue.

Grissom headed out to get some groceries while Sara napped on the couch and Luca played in his play pen. The phone startled both Sara and Luca and he started crying a little

"Its okay baby" whispered Sara.

He only needed to hear her voice and he was calm.

As Sara stood to get the phone everything started spinning and she collapsed on the floor. Luca just said there and looked at his mother and cried.

2 minutes later Grissom walked in

"Sara are you awake" yelled Grissom hearing Luca's screams

On entering he saw Sara collapsed on the ground

"Oh my god, Sara can you hear me"

Grissom grabbed the phone and called 911 while trying to see if Sara was ok and trying to calm his son"

"Luca baby mommy needs me, just a minute"

"Come on Sara, wake up"

Grissom was panicking he did not know long the ambulance would be and if his wife would be ok…

**A/N: Please read and review**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks for all your great reviews. Am updating earlier than I thought as gym was cancelled!!**

**Chapter 18**

Grissom watched as Sara was loaded into the ambulance. He stood comforting Luca who was quite upset. He grabbed Luca, his bag and the keys and headed straight to the hospital. Thousands of thoughts were running through his mind. He needed to call Catherine and also arrange for someone to watch Luca

"Willows"

"Hey Cath its me" Catherine could tell there was something wrong from the urgency and tone in his voice

"Gil is everything ok"

"Not really Sara is on her way to the hospital. Can you meet me there"

"Sure Gil, god what happened"

"No time to explain. Look I also need someone to watch Luca can you see if your mother can or if Nick can"

"It's Nick's night off I will have him meet us there I know he wont mind"

"Thanks"

*********************************************************

Grissom came running through the doors straight to the front desk with Luca

"Sir is there something wrong with your baby"

"No he is fine, my wife was just brought in my ambulance, Sara Grissom can you please find out"

"It looks like your wife is currently with the doctor but I will let her know you are here"

A few minutes later Catherine and Nick came in.

"What is going on" asked Catherine

"Not sure, the doctor is with her now. Nick can you please take Luca. Here are the keys to my car as it has the baby seat and the keys home. His bottles are all ready, if you need anything call, I will call as soon as I know anything" sighed Grissom

"Sure thing"

Grissom handed Luca to Nick and then they left. At that moment he felt his emotions getting the better of him.

"Gil" Dr King called

"Oh god how is she"

"Not so good she is awake but not fully she continues to come in and out of it. We are running some tests but it looks like she could be anaemic which is a common side effect to the drugs as is the fatigue however when she was brought she was having difficulty breathing so we have placed her on some oxygen and running tests as it could be that she has developed an infection."

"Oh god"

"Gil you have to understand that these are all common side effects of the drugs, Sara's immune system is fighting and with the vomiting it too is tired like she is. Now I would suggest that we admit her for at least a week and then we can go from there"

"Good. I need to see her"

"Sure come with me"

"Gil I will call everyone and get you some coffee" said Catherine

Grissom walked into the room and could not believe how sick she looked.

"Hey said Grissom kissing her forehead"

Sara went to take the mask off but Grissom stopped her. Dr King then said it was ok and put her on the nasal oxygen

"Sorry if I gave you a scare"

"Shh it is all ok"

"Where is Luca" asked Sara

"He is with Nick so he will be fine"

"What is wrong with me" croaked Sara

"You have severe anaemia. You blood count is very low so unfortunately we are going to give you a blood transfusion later and that should increase your energy" said Dr King

"Ok. When do you think I can go home"

"Sara you are a very sick woman, you need to understand that you are fighting an awful disease and the time we had to wait to start treatment also may have spread the disease and therefore your dosage is very strong so your body is struggling"

Sara just nodded.

"Best scenario you are here til the end of the week, worst is 3- 4 weeks ok"

"She is fine with that" said Grissom

After she left Sara broke down in tears. "Luca will think I have left him"

"No he won't" said Grissom wiping her tears away

"I don't want you to bring him here, he can't see me like this"

"Now you are just being silly"

"Please"

"Okay for today but we will discuss this later"

Grissom sat there holding Sara's hand and a few minutes later she had fallen back into a deep sleep. He did not want to wake her as she desperately needed the rest.

A few minutes later there was a tap at the door

"How is she doing" asked Catherine

"Better, she is resting"

"if you need a break let me know"

"Thanks I am fine for the moment. Can you go and check on Nick with Luca as I do not know how long I will be"

"Not a problem"

As the door closed Grissom felt the tears rolling down his face, he needed to be strong for Sara and for Luca to he was too small to understand. Grissom just wanted his family back the way they should be….

*********************************************

**A/N: Please read and review**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry for the late reply**

**Chapter 19**

It had been 2 days since Sara had been admitted to the hospital and Grissom sat with Sara as she rested. He sat there with a sleepy Luca in his arms as Nick had just dropped him off. Sara was just beginning to stir

"Hey there" said Grissom

"Hi, what time is it"

"Almost 6pm, you have been asleep for nearly 5 hours"

"When did your bring Luca in" asked Sara looking at the ceiling

"Not long ago, the nurses said it was fine. Here hold him"

"No thank you, I would prefer not to see him, please take him away" said Sara turning her back and with tears coming down her face.

Grissom placed Luca back in the pram and went straight over to Sara. Cupping her face and wiping away her hears

"Hey, what is wrong"

"I don't want him to see me like this"

"Sara, he needs his mother, you don't understand but he is missing you, come on"

Just then Luca started crying. Grissom picked him up but just could not console him. Slowly Sara turned to face them

"Try this" said Sara and with that Grissom placed him in her arms and within seconds he was settled.

"See he really needs you"

"How do you settle him without me" asked Sara with Luca sound asleep in her arms

"I let him sleep with your night gown as he loves the smell"

Sara sat there and smiled.

"Have you spoken with the doctor yet" she asked

"Dr King will hopefully be in soon"

*******************************************************

3 hours later and Catherine came and collected Luca from Sara and Grissom but promised to bring him back as the nurses were trying to arrange for him to stay the night

Just then Dr King arrived.

"How are you feeling Sara"

"Tired"

"Ok the blood transfusion has not worked the way I wanted it to so we are going to wait a few more days and test your blood count and then see where we go from there. Your blood pressure is still very low and there is a slight infection in your lungs so we still need to keep you on the oxygen"

"When can I go home" pleased Sara

"Not today, maybe by the end of the week or early next week if you start responding to treatment. Sara if you are not improved by next week then your next chemo will be done here so we can take care of you"

Sara just nodded

"How many more cycles do I have left"

"Another 2"

"Good cos that is it, I am too tired of this" said Sara

"Come on Sara, don't give up, Luca needs you" stated Grissom

"Gil I am just so tired I just wonder how much I have left"

"Sara you are doing great. I will be back tomorrow to check on you. Try and get some rest"

Grissom looked to Sara

"Will be back in a minute" said Grissom giving her a kiss on the forehead

"Dr King, is she really ok"

"Gil, she is very sick but she is responding to the treatment just not with the results I would like, remember she has been through a lot with the baby and is just very tired. I would not recommend Luca staying yet as I think she is too tired to tend to him during the night"

"Thanks"

Grissom stood there for a moment he was really scared of losing his wife and the mother of his son, he really needed her to keep going and he was willing to help her no matter what.

**A/N: Please read and review. Thanks!!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

The next few days Sara fell deeper into a depression. She refused to see any of her friends and tried to shut out Luca except that Grissom made her see him and also made her see Catherine. Grissom had tried to get Sara to see a psychologist but it was no use.

"Come on Sara you have to eat something" tried Grissom

"What is the use" sighed Sara

She was sure she was going to die and the more she was in hospital the worse she got.

"Gil, we cannot possibly give Sara her chemo if she is like this as it will nearly kill her, she is far too weak" stated Dr King

"Can we possibly send her home" asked Gil

"Not like this, we can may be give her a date and see if that changes her outlook"

Grissom and Dr King both spoke with Sara about her condition and told her if things improved she would be able to go home next week. It did not help much as she just seemed to stay the same. The turning point came a few days later when Grissom was visiting with Luca

"Damn it Sara, he is your son and needs you, please look at him and hold him, why bother having him if this is the way you treat him" yelled Grissom

"I just can't, I am going to die anyway so why let him near me" sobbed Sara

"Well if you started fighting then you would see that you are no dying"

Grissom sat there playing with Luca when he started fussing and really crying and then burning up and before Grissom knew it he had a seizure in his arms.

Grissom picked him up and ran out the door trying to find some help. Sara sat there is shock saying over an over again

"Oh god, please do not let my son die"

Just then Grissom returned

"What is wrong with him"

"They are not sure, it could be due to him being a small or an infection, they are testing him for meningitis"

Sara just started crying

"Gil, I need to see him now"

Grissom returned with a wheelchair and took her to where Luca was. The doctor on call and looking after him was Dr Hart.

"Hi Gil, I take it you are Sara"

"Yes, please tell me my son will be ok" whispered Sara too scared to talk for fear of breaking down

"Well your son is ok, it looks like he has a nasty chest infection and is also suffering from what we like to call separation anxiety which is where the body goes into convulsions or you are physically ill which is why he had the seizure. Sara we are going to arrange for him to be placed with you and will see how he responds. We can keep him with you until your next chemo, when is that.

Grissom was about to say it had been postponed when Sara spoke up.

"It should hopefully be by the end of the next week but I need to see what the doctor thinks"

Grissom could not believe the turn around in his wife.

****************************************

That night Sara hardly slept as she kept looking at Luca and thinking how close she came to losing him. All the nurses kept coming in to look at him and telling her how lucky she was cos he was absolutely gorgeous. Dr Hart could not believe how well he was going and he had been discharged from her care but the hospital left him stay with Sara until the end of the week. Sara could not stop holding him either.

Dr King agreed that Sara could go home and have her next treatment done as an outpatient again. She had improved dramatically and they all put it down to Luca. Luca may only have been 3 months old but he was a very wise soul who had saved his mother.

Catherine agreed to moved in to look after Luca when Sara's next treatment began. Grissom was determined to be there to help her through it.

*********************************************

Grissom headed back to the office to check on things before the treatment began. Sara used the opportunity to come in and see everyone and to show Luca off. Once they walked in everyone tried to get a hold but Sara refused.

"Come on give me a hold Sara" whined Greg

"Sorry Greggo but it took me a while to settle him and I really do not want to wake him up"

Grissom knew it was a lie but kept it to himself as Sara was back to being the mother she was and was making up for lost time and with the treatment coming up she was determined to get very last cuddle in.

**A/N: Please review for me. Hope you are enjoying this story**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to write but I had a health scare last week so it has taken me a while but back on track now. Thanks for being patient. Hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 21**

Sara was feeling very apprehensive about the treatment as she knew it was coming to an end which would mean that she would find out if the cancer was gone once and for all.

The night before the treatment Grissom let Sara bring Luca in with them. She hardly slept and he knew it. He did not need to ask if she was ok as he could tell she was scared so he just held her and Luca.

The next morning Catherine arrived bright and early with her bags and with bags of supplies too.

"Cath, every time you come you do not have to bring Luca a present" said Grissom

"Yes I do" said Catherine.

Sara was just finishing giving Luca his bottle and was really hesitant to go.

"Come on Sara, we need to get going, Catherine can put him to bed" said Grissom

"Ok"

Sara gave Luca to Catherine but not before giving him a big cuddle. She hated this part and both Catherine and Grissom could tell so they both tried to make it as easy as possible for her.

"See you soon baby, remember mommy loves you" said Sara giving him another big kiss.

Once Grissom and Sara arrived at the hospital he could tell she was nervous.

"Sweetheart, it will be okay, I am here with you" he said giving her a big cuddle.

As the drip went in Grissom tried all he could to take Sara's mind off from what was going into her.

"You know what, I think Luca said dadda the other day"

"No he did not he said Mommy" joked Sara.

They both talked about how big he was getting and how much joy they both got from him.

Sara began yawning and nodding off. Grissom let her put her head on his shoulder and fall asleep. She was quickly woken by the nurse who was taking the drip out.

"Sorry love, you are all done now. Take your time" said the nurse

"Ready when you are" said Grissom

Once they got home Sara decided to lie down as she really was not feeling but the best but thought if she would sleep it might then pass.

"Hey, is Luca okay" asked Sara as Grissom tucked her hair behind her ears

"He is sound asleep. You know he looks more and more like you when he sleeps"

"Really? Gil I don't feel the best"

"Okay, lets get you up and go to the bathroom"

As soon as they made it to the bathroom Sara was violently ill. She had already thrown up four times when there was nothing left in her stomach except bile and she could not stop dry reteaching .

Sara then fell back into Grissom and just started crying.

"Hey there, you are ok, lets get you cleaned up"

Grissom got Sara undressed and they both showered although Sara was sick several times during that. He could feel her breaking and was trying to be strong for her even though he was struggling to do it. Once in bed Sara looked at him with pleading eyes

"Gil, this is it, no more I can't stand this anymore".

"I know, but you have one more"

Sara shook her head, "no I am done if you don't listen to me I will get someone who will"

Grissom did not know what to do so he decided that the best thing was probably to agree with her

"okay honey, lets talk about this later. Why don't you try and sleep"

Within 15 minutes she was sound asleep. Grissom decided to leave her sleep and popped out to see how Catherine was going

"How is she" asked Catherine who was playing with Luca while he lay on his stomach as he tried to rollover.

"Not good, but she has finally stopped throwing up. She begged me for this to be the last one"

"Gil she only has one more"

"That is what I said but she told me if I don't then she will speak with someone who will listen to her. I agreed in the end, I now have 3 weeks to try and convince her. It is important for her to finish her treatment"

Catherine just nodded.

Grissom knew that he should try not to push Sara at the moment and just let her rest but he was scared he knew how stubborn she could get and just feared that if she did not go through with the last treatment then she may not beat it.

Grissom walked into the bedroom, he felt like his heart was breaking and just pulled his arms around her and held her. He could feel her crying.

"I am sorry Gil, I am just so tired and the sickness is just so hard"

"I know baby but you have come this far, you have to keep going. You need to keep going for me and Luca"

Sara nodded and sniffed the tears away.

Deep down Sara just did not know what to do. It was only one more treatment but her energy was gone and the sickness was killing her in so many ways but she knew she had to do it for Luca and for Grissom.

"Ok honey, I am sorry" said Sara turning to face him.

They both fell into a deep sleep in each others arms knowing it was only one more treatment until they learned Sara's fate….

**A/N: please read and review. Thanks**


End file.
